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The folks over at 23/6 have compressed Keith Olbermann's Special Comments into one minute:

...thinking that [ profile] balthrop looks a bit like Olbermann, and could probably do a passable imitation...
gridlockjoe: (Default)

Can I count on your support?
gridlockjoe: (Default)
I answer questions on Yahoo! Answers. A recent question and someone else's answer had me laughing:

Q. You can use TTC tokens to get on a bus right?
I've lived in Toronto for 5 years and taken the TTC at least twice a week, but I've always thought that tokens were for buses only.

A. You can use Tolkiens for anything that is TTC, Bus, Streetcar, Subway. If it says TTC, you can use the Tolkien.

This is useful information. I'll be sure to stock up on Tolkiens for my trip in October.
gridlockjoe: (Default)
Dateline Azusa, California: My dog stole my pickup truck
gridlockjoe: (Default)
Demand more at Comcast!
Please be aware that as of 1/31/08, Comcast of Houston will no longer carry the following channels: Fine Living (channel 225) and DIY (channel 211).

Okay, Comcast, I think I will demand more! I want my CBC!
gridlockjoe: (Default)
Internet Explorer only displays the first 95 characters of a web page's title for display in its title bar. Sometimes that break comes at an unusual place:

Houston's KHCW-TV Launches Free Mobile Phone Cam Service Enabling Drivers To Avoid Traffic Head

Nickelodeon to Super-Serve Families as Award-Winning NOGGIN Becomes Its Own 24-Hour Commercial
gridlockjoe: (Default)
Thanks to [ profile] mnelson for pointing this out:

88 Lines About 44 Fangirls

Absolutely awesome.
gridlockjoe: (Default)
William Shakespeare

It is the Gridlock Joe,
The Gridlock Joe above us, govern our conditions.

Which work of Shakespeare was the original quote from?

Get your own quotes:

gridlockjoe: (Default)
Thanks [ profile] lil_m_moses for reminding me about this.

The Great Pizza Orientation Test, or what happens when you order NONE Pizza with Left Beef via Domino's online ordering....
gridlockjoe: (Default)
This time it's from an actual released DVD, "Getting Along Famously".

You bought Nedsule.
You remember the misses of October?
Helen Girly-Brown
Patty Chayevsky (funny, they got "Chayevsky" right but missed "Paddy")

Hey, [ profile] jjloa, if I find them all do I win a prize? ;)
gridlockjoe: (Default)

Real translation (grabbed from YouTube comments, so we don't have to wait for [ profile] amothea's husband to get home to translate):

I woke up early this morning
I felt drops on my head
I looked up & saw
what was going on up there
There was a hole, it was very big
& through it fell a nut
& a branch, & a very big bird egg too

There's a hole in my roof
I don't feel at ease
It's because of that hole in my roof

I called my friend Klus ("Chore")
He said, that's a job for me
He was hammering for about ten hours
Then you couldn't see the hole anymore
Klus called out, look I did it again
& jumped up & down of joy
Suddenly I heared a noise & crack
There's a hole in my roof again

There's a hole in my roof
I don't feel at ease
It's because of that hole in my roof
gridlockjoe: (Default)
"Gandhi: Freedom Fighter for Indiana" will be the title of the book I wrote some day with my collection of closed-caption bloopers.

I saw a couple more today, presented here as they aired:

*Britney Speer was photographed topless making out with a 21-year-old hotel pool.

*You're watching Forks News Channel.
gridlockjoe: (Default)

gridlockjoe: (Default)
1. On I-35E in Ovilla: SERENITY MORTGAGE

"Mr. Reynolds, we're going to need some collateral for your purchase..."

2. Double feature on the marquee at the Galaxy Drivein in Palmer:

gridlockjoe: (Default)
The Trouble with Tribbles, LOLcats style
gridlockjoe: (Default)
There will be some very long-lasting construction on the QEW for the next 2,999 years:

Lanes affected: Left shoulder and 1 left lane
Event start date: 2006-07-17
Event end date: 5006-07-21
Event start time: 10:00
Event end time: 15:00
Reason: Daily construction
Traffic impact: Moderate
Last change: ENTERED 2006-07-13 08:15

At least it's only a moderate impact.
gridlockjoe: (Default)
The headline of the story read: "Truck Spills 165,000 Eggs on Va. Highway"

And then the ad was placed on the page... )
gridlockjoe: (Default)
1. Navigate to this Yahoo! map.

2. Zoom in full.

3. Note the name of the restaurant at the center of the map.

(No, it's not a restaurant. But Yahoo! Maps thinks it is.)
gridlockjoe: (Default)
Customer reviews of "Milk" at


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